An Attempt To Love Myself As Much As I Love My Dogs

Updated: Sep 12, 2019

A new year tends to bring huge goals and ridiculous expectations. I’m guilty of the whole #newyearnewme crap and I can honestly say I’ve gotten to the 3rd week of January on most occasions and fallen off the wagon completely. By wagon I mean truck, and by truck I mean I plummeted from a plane.…

2016 was a garbage year, not just for me but for most of the lovely people I surround myself with. No matter how hard we tried, nothing seemed to work out. Shit happens, life isn’t perfect, you don’t need me to tell you that though.

This year became all about subtle change. No pressure, just good reasonable goals. I didn’t write anything down or blast it all over social media, I simply just chose to start changing. If something doesn’t work/get done, I would try to work out why, move on, chill – remembering to live outside my comfort zone and do the best I can.

Why? Because I found myself on a ledge. My mental health in 2016 deteriorated rapidly and somedays, I found the simple task of getting out of bed to be the hardest. I started to fear my own mind – too often – It’s a terrifying place, the human mind.

It’s now June (Fuck it’s June, I’ve been trying to write this post since April) and I’m sitting here wondering if I really have changed at all. That self-doubt is a real bitch, isn’t it? Somethings still feel the same, why do they feel the same? Why isn’t anything changing? But then I had a sudden thought, an aha! moment. At the start of all of this, I told myself I would make subtle changes – not dramatic ones – so makes sense that I didn’t get a huge ZING right? Change doesn’t have to be dramatic, we just need to embrace the small victories.

Here are 5 things I am super friggin proud to say I’ve achieved/embraced this year so far:

  1. Eating better. AKA eat less garbage. I didn’t go all diet crazy, I just decided to make better choices (for those wondering if I’ve lost weight because of this, yep, I have)

  2. Getting outside my comfort zone when it comes to what I wear. I’m generally jeans and t-shirt kind of gal, and I still am, but I am learning how to make it look slightly less casual – like BRIGHT AND BOLD and high waisted jeans instead of #muffintopcity.

  3. Focusing on putting myself into my blog – I want you to read my stuff and not be surprised if you ever meet me because I am who I am and mate – some days I even shock myself with the things that come out of my mouth

  4. Embracing the fact that sometimes the house is a mess, there is dog hair everywhere, dishes haven’t been done – but who cares? You need to take time to chill and get to it later. RELAX.

  5. Remembering that it’s just a bad day, not a bad life, and to talk it out with the right people when things are getting too tough to handle. Like hey manfriend today I feel like ass can you make me a cup of tea and can I stay in my PJs all day.

These things may seem totally insignificant to some, but to me they’re huge. And I bet you’re asking yourself, why am I here telling you what I’ve done to change, what I’m doing to be happy etc?

WELL HERE IS WHY. I AM SICK OF BEING STRESSED OUT. Mental health and daily well being is SUPER important, and the more pressure we put on ourselves, the bigger the struggle is. We can turn simple, daily tasks in life into so much more than they are all because of the expectations we set for ourselves as people, and sometimes a line needs to be drawn.

Mental health first, everything else later. I have spent a lot of time putting my mental well being on the back foot and I have suffered greatly for it. I never realised just how much until I really took a good look at my life and my daily actions, some of the things happening really shocked me. For example, did I really need to burst into tears over the fact my boyfriend just dropped a tray of roast potatoes into the sink by accident? (OK probably I mean its potatoes but hopefully you get the idea)

It’s really quite alarming when you step back and watch your life from the outside.

I don’t consider myself to be one of the wisest of people in the world, and sometimes I do tend to go on and on. But lately, life has been hard, really hard – but slowly, I’ve been getting through it. My best advice is – don’t feel selfish for taking steps to better who you are! It’s actually OK to look after yourself and put yourself first. It’s ok to care about and love yourself. Remember that when you’re living your life the best you can, you’re probably also influencing someone else in your life without even realising.

Guess what? Your mental well being is just as important as your physical.

Like let's be real, you can hit the gym 5 times a week, eat the best foods, have the best job – you can be the skinniest, richest, hottest person in the world, but if your brain isn’t working right, does any of that even matter at all? NOPE.

Here’s my favourite quote – I feel like it fits what I am trying to say really well

“Be the change you wish to see in the world”

Sit down, make a cup of coffee, take 5, and spend some time on yourself.

It’s worth it.